My nutritious dinner
This has been the week from Hell. Really. Actually... pretty much since the 3rd of December has been hell in my world on and off... and since it's work related, it's more on than off.
I mentioned the project being closed in another post. I don't know if I mentioned that out of the 200+ people on the project, I probably hired 2/3 of them myself. Some of them I consider friends. Some, I don't know at all.
And every day for the last 18 days, except for Fridays and Saturdays, I've had discussions with some of these people. They're sad. They're angry. They're terrified. And whether I like the people or not, I feel terrible for them.
And even up until a couple of days ago, it wasn't so bad.
Then, Tuesday, I got cursed out, and someone else left my office in tears, and it's gone steadily downhill since.
The cursing would have been funny, and might be one day in the future, if it wasn't about someone losing her job (and her marbles, apparently).
She was upset because I refused to schedule an interview for her, because she wasn't a suitable candidate for a position. She walked to the door, turned around, and said, "Thank you. I just want to say Happy Chanukah, and you can all go F--- yourselves."
I sat there in shock for a second and then immediately called the HR department to let them know what happened.
Not more than an hour later, another woman walked in... someone who is very sweet... and when I explained that the chances were pretty much nill that we would find another day job for her, she thanked me for my time and walked out crying. She had been looking for a job for months when we hired her only a few weeks ago, and now, during Chanukah, she's becoming aware that she's going to lose it.
I've been working 10- to 12-hour days pretty much since we were notified, doing what I can from my end to help these people.
I dream about work. Work is the first thing that enters my mind in the morning, and the last thing to fly through my head on my way to sleep. I had my first anxiety attack yesterday morning, and I'm thinking about actually calling a therapist. (I won't, of course... but I'm considering it, anyway.)
I almost forgot to light my chanukiah (candle holder for Chanukah) yesterday and the day before, because I was so exhausted when I got home.
This morning, I started crying when I got the list of people who had received notice that they were being let go. I actually cried three times, two in front of other people, because this whole situation is so bad.
So today, I decided that come hell or high water, I was leaving at 6.
But at 5:15, a young guy who isn't even on AOL walked into my office in tears. This is a 16-year-old boy/man who moved to Israel with his family when he was 13, and moved out onto his own when he was 14. He's had a hard life.
He not only got fired today, but then after he got fired, he found out his grandfather died.
It took every bit of my strength not to burst into tears as he was telling me. Instead, I hugged him, and sat with him while he cried for a little while.
I did not leave work at 6. I still made it out of work by 6:20, though.
Then, I decided that I needed exercise... so I walked home -- 50 minutes, mostly uphill.
During that walk, I had a lot of time to decide what I wanted for dinner... I decided on wine and sufganiot. Not the most nutritious of choices, but as I sit here sipping my second glass of wine, I believe it was a good decision.
I mentioned the project being closed in another post. I don't know if I mentioned that out of the 200+ people on the project, I probably hired 2/3 of them myself. Some of them I consider friends. Some, I don't know at all.
And every day for the last 18 days, except for Fridays and Saturdays, I've had discussions with some of these people. They're sad. They're angry. They're terrified. And whether I like the people or not, I feel terrible for them.
And even up until a couple of days ago, it wasn't so bad.
Then, Tuesday, I got cursed out, and someone else left my office in tears, and it's gone steadily downhill since.
The cursing would have been funny, and might be one day in the future, if it wasn't about someone losing her job (and her marbles, apparently).
She was upset because I refused to schedule an interview for her, because she wasn't a suitable candidate for a position. She walked to the door, turned around, and said, "Thank you. I just want to say Happy Chanukah, and you can all go F--- yourselves."
I sat there in shock for a second and then immediately called the HR department to let them know what happened.
Not more than an hour later, another woman walked in... someone who is very sweet... and when I explained that the chances were pretty much nill that we would find another day job for her, she thanked me for my time and walked out crying. She had been looking for a job for months when we hired her only a few weeks ago, and now, during Chanukah, she's becoming aware that she's going to lose it.
I've been working 10- to 12-hour days pretty much since we were notified, doing what I can from my end to help these people.
I dream about work. Work is the first thing that enters my mind in the morning, and the last thing to fly through my head on my way to sleep. I had my first anxiety attack yesterday morning, and I'm thinking about actually calling a therapist. (I won't, of course... but I'm considering it, anyway.)
I almost forgot to light my chanukiah (candle holder for Chanukah) yesterday and the day before, because I was so exhausted when I got home.
This morning, I started crying when I got the list of people who had received notice that they were being let go. I actually cried three times, two in front of other people, because this whole situation is so bad.
So today, I decided that come hell or high water, I was leaving at 6.
But at 5:15, a young guy who isn't even on AOL walked into my office in tears. This is a 16-year-old boy/man who moved to Israel with his family when he was 13, and moved out onto his own when he was 14. He's had a hard life.
He not only got fired today, but then after he got fired, he found out his grandfather died.
It took every bit of my strength not to burst into tears as he was telling me. Instead, I hugged him, and sat with him while he cried for a little while.
I did not leave work at 6. I still made it out of work by 6:20, though.
Then, I decided that I needed exercise... so I walked home -- 50 minutes, mostly uphill.
During that walk, I had a lot of time to decide what I wanted for dinner... I decided on wine and sufganiot. Not the most nutritious of choices, but as I sit here sipping my second glass of wine, I believe it was a good decision.
posted by M at 20:56
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