Year Number Five

I had so much planned to write, and then things went nutso around here, so once again I find myself playing catchup.

On 11 August, I had my fourth anniversary of aliyah to Israel. I've mentioned before, the word "aliyah," is the noun form of "going up." As Jews, we consider it a "going up" to move to the Holy Land.

In 2005, I made an additional aliyah by moving to Jerusalem - the Holy City. A couple of months later, in January 2006, I got my first real job in Israel -- a job hiring people to do sales, fundraising, transcription, customer service, etc. for a big call center.

In June 2006 I moved into my current apartment in the hippest, most central location in Jerusalem.

But I was so tired from work and life that I didn't take advantage of living here in the least. I went through phases when I went to shul (synagogue), and for a while I would have a friend come over sometimes for Shabbat meals or I'd go to her.

When my friend moved out of Israel in December 2006, that was pretty much the end of my Shabbat social life. I spent most Shabbats alone -- which was sometimes lonely and sometimes exactly what I felt I needed.

In the fall of 2007, I decided to take a technical writing course. It's one of the few fields in Israel that seems to always be hiring, and it's excellent money. I knew that the chances were small that I'd find a job in Jerusalem, but I figured since I wasn't taking advantage of living in Jerusalem anyway, it was no big deal if I had to commute... or maybe I'd even move to the center, if the money was good enough.

But in February, 2008, my whole life changed.

It started in a tiny way -- I met a really nice girl at a wedding I hadn't really wanted to go to.

She encouraged me to go to the yeshiva another friend had been telling me about for 2.5 years. I had another friend decide to go with me to a special Shabbat dinner in the Old City. After the amazing Shabbat dinner, I decided my friend from the wedding was right -- I needed to go to the yeshiva.

I saw online that they had a class on the weekly Torah portion that started late enough in the evening that I could go. I went, and I really liked the class... the rav (rabbi) was awesome, and I felt like I left there a better person than I'd been when I walked in.

I'll skip most of the details, but suffice it to say that I loved learning so much that I started asking Hashem (G-d) for an opportunity to spend more time learning.

So He answered me by granting me an opportunity to be downsized from my job in April, 2008, with enough money to allow me to learn full time for at least two months, if not more.

The rav of the yeshiva allowed me to take classes without paying, and he tried to also find opportunities for me to make money. I met people in the community and made real friends.

For almost four months, I knew that I needed to find a job, but I no longer wanted to leave Jerusalem to work. I felt like I became who I am supposed to be, and it happened here in Jerusalem... I could barely leave Jerusalem for a few hours once in a while, so the thought of leaving every day to go to work was painful... and it was even more distressing to think about not having the opportunity to go to evening classes because of commuting.

So I decided I wouldn't work outside Jerusalem, even if it meant taking a cruddy job.

But I prayed and prayed to Hashem to give me a job that I could grow in... a job that would allow me to give tzedakah (literally "justice," but we use it as the word for charity)... a job that would allow me to invite guests into my home for Shabbat meals, etc.

Of course, I still wasn't ready to actually start actively looking for a job.

From the very beginning of the writing course, I always had confidence that when I decided to look for a job, I would find one. But again, I thought that might be outside of Jerusalem.

So I still had complete faith that when I started to look for a job, I would get one, but I knew that finding a job in technical writing in Jerusalem was going to be close to impossible -- there are so many tech writers with experience in Jerusalem that they usually have the pick of any openings... so there'd be no reason to hire someone with no experience for not a whole lot less money.

A few weeks ago, I became aware that I had seriously messed up on my financial situation. If I'd have done what I needed to do from the very beginning, I could have gone at least six or eight months without working if necessary. But I found myself at the end of three months with no money and a bounced rent check. Most of it was my "fault," but part of it was due to the mess-ups at my old job and at the insurance agent responsible for my severance fund.

Oops.

So I started looking for a job -- almost any job -- to get me through. I was afraid I wouldn't find something that would allow me to go to my sibling's wedding, so I assumed I simply wouldn't be able to find a job until after I returned from the States.

But once again, Hashem is awesome, and things changed.

After not hearing from my tech writing teachers the last few times I emailed them, I decided to try again. I sent my resume and a letter saying that I am seriously looking for work.

A few days later, one of my teachers called and said she needed my resume right away, right now, yesterday. I told her I'd just sent it, but she said she didn't have access to the folders where it was stored, so I sent it to her a couple of minutes later.

She called back sounding disappointed that I didn't have more experience in a particular kind of software, but she said she'd send my resume anyway to a company looking for someone. She didn't know if I'd get called, but if I did, I was to call my teacher back so she could give me tips for going to the interview.

I didn't think much more about it... but the next day or the day after, I got called to come in for an interview. As "commanded," I called my teacher to let her know I was going for an interview. She gave me a bunch of tips. I told her also that I was going on this trip to America, (I had told them in the original email I'd sent, but I don't think she saw the original email) and asked what I should tell the interviewer.

She told me the interviewer had been looking for the right person for over a month and was getting pretty desperate. She'd wanted someone with experience, but they couldn't pay enough to get someone she liked with the experience she wanted... so she told me to go ahead and tell the interviewer. She also told me that the interviewer (the senior tech writer, who also happened to be the only tech writer, in the company) had a journalism background, and she thought that would give us something in common... and that when the tech writer had asked for recommendations, my two teachers consulted with each other to decide whom to send -- and I was one of the ones they sent, because they thought my personality would work well with the writer and in the particular company.

You see where this is going, right?

So I went for the interview, and prayed that I would leave there believing I'd done the best I was capable of doing. And that's what happened. I interviewed well, while being completely myself. I tested well, feeling confident that I'd done at least "okay" on the test. I was honest with the interviewer about my trip. I told her that I'd be willing to start immediately, but that I needed to leave for the wedding. She asked me tons of stuff about my journalism background, which wasn't so deep, considering it consisted of my college degree and one internship.

The only thing I thought I messed up on was that I hadn't brought any of my journalism clips with me. She'd asked me in advance to bring samples of my writing, but I had only taken my tech writing portfolio and none of my newspaper stories.


During the interview, she mentioned that before they'd make a final decision, the person would need to meet with her boss, who was in military reserve duty. I forgot to ask when he'd be back, or when they'd be considering making a decision.

She asked me to email her some of my journalism samples, and I told her I would.

That was last Thursday, the 21st.

On Monday, the 25th, I got called to see if I could come in for an interview with the writer's boss on Tuesday.

Tuesday, I left my house a bit later than I'd wanted, and then I waited for a bus for a while... when it looked like it was either walk and get there super sweaty and probably on time, or take a taxi and spend money I didn't really have, but be clean, I opted for the taxi.

I had a great taxi driver. He spoke Hebrew to me, of course, and we had a nice conversation. He kept telling me how nice I am (no comments from the peanut gallery, please ;)), and wished me luck on my interview. When I got out of the taxi, I somehow knew I was supposed to have taken that ride, because I needed the quick Hebrew practice and the feeling that someone liked me as a confidence booster.

When I got to the interview, I had to wait 45 minutes past the time of my interview, because the boss was busy. But it didn't even phase me... the writer and the HR person kept apologizing, but I just chilled out in the lobby. After all, I've been in their place -- having set someone up for an interview, but the interviewer gets busy and runs late -- so I wasn't worried.

Eventually, I went in for the interview, which was conducted entirely in Hebrew.

Toward the end of the interview, the boss asked me what my salary expectation was. I was expecting the question, and I'd been told by my teachers what to say. When I gave the number that was 1.5x what I was making at my old job, the guy didn't flinch. He just asked the writer (who'd been co-interviewing) to step out with him for a moment and told me they'd be back.

A couple of minutes later, he came in and said something about me coming back the next day at 10 to discuss the compensation.

I wasn't sure i'd heard/understood correctly, so as the writer was walking me out, I confirmed with her that's what I'd understood. She said it was, and then she asked me if I'd be able to stay and start training, assuming the compensation meeting went well. I reminded her of my sibling's wedding, but she remembered and said that she really wanted someone who could help her get something finished in the next couple of days, and yes, she knew I would have to go away for the wedding.

So all afternoon Tuesday I wasn't 100% sure I had a job, but I was about 90% sure. They'd have had to offer me like, half of my old salary for me not to take the position. Otherwise, I could manage and if the salary sucked, I could always get some experience and then look for a job elsewhere.

Wednesday morning I arrived and "discussed" the compensation with the financial guy. It wasn't much discussing... he told me what they could offer me, and it was all I could to to sit in my seat and pretend to be nonchalant.

The offer was 1.25x what I was making at my old job, plus a performance review with a possible raise after three months, plus full retirement/educational insurance after six months, plus subsidized lunches, plus a flexible schedule. Oh yeah, and every person I had any contact with seemed really nice. And it's still within walking distance of my house.

Um, duh.

Of *course* I took the job. Heck yeah.

(Yes, it occurs to me that maybe there was room for negotiation -- but my rule when it comes to bargaining is that if I think something's worth it I'm going to take it at the price offered. And this seemed almost too good to be true, so I wasn't even about to mess it up.)

Now that I look at it, I feel like Hashem wanted me to have this job -- this specific job -- and that's why my financial stuff got all messed up. If it hadn't gotten messed up, I might not have started applying for jobs when I did. I wouldn't have prayed so much to find the right job.

Note: There was a HUGE damper on my excitement about my first days at work, when I found out a friend of mine... someone who I didn't know particularly well but who had a HUGE HUGE HUGE impact on my life and who I am... left this world on Wednesday. She was just a few years older than I am, with a 2.5-year-old son, and the cancer got her. She was one of the most beautiful people on the planet, and she took a little piece of my soul with her when she left... mine and hundreds, if not thousands, of others. My new boss thankfully let me leave early so I could go to the funeral. Tzivia bat Bayla should rise to the highest heights in the World to Come.

So there it is...

I am now a couple of weeks into my fifth year of living in Israel. I have gone through enormous changes physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally... and I have never been in a place -- physical, mental, spiritual or emotional -- that was better for me.

I have a job... a community of friends... a rav (who actually calls me just to check in, if he's worried about me for any reason. *That* took some getting used to ;))... a great landlord... a supportive "adopted" family in Israel... a supportive family in America...

I am so incredibly blessed.

Terrorist Boot Camp in Destroyed Synagogue

http://www.jerusalemonline.com/specials3.asp

It's been three years since the disengagement from Gaza and northern Samaria.

In those three years, it's estimated that Hamas has amassed thousands of rockets and millions of bullets with which to murder Jews.

I admit, when the disengagement first started looking like a reality, I was all for it. Really.

Naively, I believed that if we pulled out, we would be able to say to the rest of the world:

"See? We really do want peace! We're willing to forcefully pull our pioneers away from their homes, because we want peace so much. We're willing to give up land that was given to us in the Torah, because we want peace so much."

And I thought that the rest of the world would take a chill and the next time the terrorists shot rockets at us from Gaza, the world would be understanding when we sent our army back in there to kick some terrorist butt.

Now, I fully admit my mistake. I was wrong. And I feel sorta like one of the German Jews who naively thought that "this can't happen."

Since 2005, there have been thousands of rockets falling on sovereign Israeli land -- land that is, in fact, recognized by the world to be part of Israel. Thousands.

Children have panic attacks. Kids can't go to school or camp without worrying that there might be a rocket attack.

Ever been in a room when a balloon popped unexpectedly? Did you jump for a second? Of course you did. Now, magnify the volume of the sound of that balloon popping by oh, about a thousand. Combine it with sirens that go off screaming "Code Red! Code Red!" and the idea that you might be killed in the next 15 seconds. Now run as fast as you can, and see how far you can get in that 15 seconds. Imagine trying to live your life in such a way that you are never more than 15 seconds away from a bomb shelter.

Now imagine living like that for three years, knowing that the Israeli government is doing absolutely nothing to protect you.

Meanwhile, the smuggling of Hamas weapons has intensified, because there's no Israeli presence to help stop the tunneling -- and Egypt has a financial interest in selling weapons to Gazans.

And I haven't even begun to talk about the people who are now refugees in Israel, after having gone to Gaza at the direct behest of the previous Israeli governments and asked to be pioneers. The State has not given them what they were entitled to. There are some still living in tents, because they're waiting for the permits to build their homes. Others still can't find jobs. They're being taken care of by other caring Jews, which unfortunately doesn't include our own government.

Now, as seen in the video above -- I'd recommend watching the first 20 seconds or so, then skipping to about halfway through, because in between is a female terrorist reading aloud from a paper in Arabic, unless you understand Arabic and want to hear what she has to say.

It's like Billy Blanks' Boot Camp for Hamas Terrorists. Really, it has good music, though I assume the words are probably not so nice... and there were a few moments during the video when I had to restrain myself from doing the exercises they were doing.

They are readying themselves to fight.

And it's being held in a former synagogue.

The homes evacuated now lay empty.

Gaza is reportedly unbelievably overcrowded, yet when they were given hundreds of homes, they chose to destroy them as having belonged to Jews, instead of moving into them.

What about the world accepting our sacrifices in the name of peace? Yeah, right.

The minute the rockets started flying again after the disengagement, cries of "restrain yourselves!" came from the rest of the world.

The media reports that there are no injuries, as if the trauma of having rockets shot at you 24 hours a day has no affect.

People complain that Gazans are dying, because Israel won't let them in for medical treatment. I remind you: We have absolutely no obligation to treat them in the first place. We do, for the most part, because we are compassionate people... however, after having several attempted terrorist attacks by people who "needed medical attention," we tend to be more careful about who we allow through the crossings.

People complain when we even threaten to reduce the amount of oil and electricity allowed in, because it creates humanitarian crises. So why is Hamas using so much oil and electricity to create weapons and terrorist boot camp, instead of alleviating the suffering of the people?

Three years... and not a single thing, not one thing, has gotten better.

I am so sorry that I ever, ever supported the disengagement.

I Just Can't Help But Laugh...

The headline is "Israel's Political Situation Dims Hopes for Peace Deal"

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/01/world/middleeast/01diplo.html?ref=middleeast

Um, no.

Well, I mean, I guess, theoretically -- but whose hopes? 'Cause over here, in the actual Middle East, I don't know of a single person who had any realistic hope that we'd somehow have peace by the end of the year -- other than us religious Jews, who think there's hope for Divine Intervention at any moment.

Olmert? Bring peace? I don't think so. We're still pretty ticked off at him for sending our soldiers into a badly-planned war two years ago, without food and water, and then having them turn tail and run -- leaving Hezbullah in a situation where they can re-stock all their weapons.

And we're ticked off at him for not taking care of the Gush Katif refugees, or any of the other Jews who were yanked unceremoniously out of their homes three years ago, leaving them to fend for themselves in tent cities.

And we're ticked off at him for giving away dangerous, live terrorists in exchange for dead bodies.

And we're ticked off at him for being corrupt.

And we're ticked off at him for saying the houses of the terrorists would be destroyed, only to back off and not actually do anything.

So basically, there wasn't a snowball's chance in a very hot place that he could possibly make some sort of binding agreement regarding "final status issues" in any sort of peace deal.

When President Clinton scrambled during the last weeks of his presidency in 2000/01 to try and come up with some sort of peace deal -- there was at least the snowball's chance... but as we were sinking quickly into the "Second Intifada," it didn't happen.

Since then, I cannot think of one single concession that the "Palestinians" have agreed to -- not one. Not a single freakin' one. And they elected Hamas to govern them.

So the only person who will be bringing peace to this region any time in the near future will be the messenger G-d sends to bring in the Redemption. And for sure, that's more realistic than Dubya, Olmert and Abbas actually bringing peace.

Not Awake, Might As Well Post

Well, that's a silly title, right? Yet true... I'm sitting and drinking my coffee, and trying to get my brain function raised to the minimum level it needs before I can figure out what I need to do today, and in what order.

I've never been a person who easily functions well in the mornings. Thankfully, I'm blessed with a mother who understands that, and a father who's also a night person. I really feel bad for night people who don't have either one of those.

Here I am, 36.8ish years old, and I've learned to function, though not easily and not well, before 9:30 or so in the morning. But I cannot tell you how many times I have had to defend my nightpersonness in the course of my life.

Non-night people seem to think it's just a situation of mind over matter. You should want to get up early and do things, and then 'cause you want to, you'll be able to do it.

Who said I didn't want to? Not me... 'Cause pretty much all of society on this planet has been designed for non-night people, so my life sure would be easier if I could simply decide one day that I wasn't going to be a night person anymore.

At my last job, most of my co-workers were particularly sympathetic, and they learned that it wasn't a good idea to speak with me before 10am, unless it was a matter of particular urgency. And it's not that I couldn't answer whatever they wanted to ask -- it's just that I didn't think whatever they had to ask was important for me to answer at 9:15am.

I had one particularly naive and daring co-worker and officemate who decided it was his responsibility to teach me that Torah says I should be waking up in the morning like a lion, ready to greet the day. He forgot that a lion can bite human heads off... though he grasped the concept fairly quickly.

Most people have a time of day at which they function best, and a time of day at which they don't function well. If their body rhythms don't match up with society's, then unfortunately, they probably never function at their peak capability.

How sad is it that there's this whole group of people for whom their true potential may never be revealed, just 'cause they're forced to be up and active when they function the most poorly, and have to sleep at times their bodies don't particularly want to? Bummer.

And how useless was this post? :)

But I'm now awake enough to at least get some outside clothes on and go buy eggs, so I can come home and finish waking up while I make challah. And I fulfilled the mitzvah of honoring my mother, since she's the one who suggested I post.

I'll probably update again fairly soon, actually... it's a pretty heavy time right now, politically, religiously, astrologically, and personally (not necessarily heavy in a "bad" way), so I have lots to say.

I just need to wake up first.