Okay, so it's been almost two months...

And I'm really only writing now 'cause my sibling asked me to, so here goes:

My life is amazing. I truly believe that it's amazing because I've decided it's amazing. I wish the whole world could decide that for itself, 'cause it would make the world a much, much, much better place to live.

I could on and on about how my life is amazing, but really, the fact is that I'm incredibly blessed -- and I remind myself of that when things do get rough.

I've been going through a pretty intense situation, with tons of ups and some downs, and some way ups, and some way downs, and it's been keeping me busy.

Fortunately for you, it's kept me busy enough that I haven't come here to rant about the ridiculous world situation regarding Israel.

I will say this... since I posted last, I've been in the Shomron for a day trip (Shomron = Samaria, which is part of what's often referred to as "the west bank"), which was amazing. It's such beautiful land, so much of it open space, so much of it legally purchased by Jews (and that's aside from having been given the land in the Torah), and it's unbelievable to me that people think we should just make that area Judenrein.

We went to a spot overlooking the gravesite of Yosef... one of the places that according to the Oslo Accords, was supposed to remain in Jewish hands... yet when the Intifada war started in 2000, Israel left it to be destroyed by Arabs. For years, Jews weren't allowed to go there AT ALL -- it's one of Judaism's holy sites... even the Oslo Accords gave the land to the Jews, yet NO JEWS were allowed EVER. Now, once a month, in the dark of night, under the protection of many, many military personnel, some Jews get to go pray there for a little while.

We went to a couple of communities of Jews, where the people there are just trying to live Jewish lives on Jewish land, where they don't even carry guns for their own protection, where they don't have full-time electricity, and they have to take into account that they could, G-d forbid, be evicted from their homes at any point.

It was definitely an eye-opening trip.

I've also spent Shabbat with friends in Gush Etzion, in a community called Tekoa. It's near Herodia, in Judea, also part of what's known as "the west bank." It was beautiful and amazing, and again -- ridiculous to think that at some point outsiders would think that community should be destroyed. RIDICULOUS.

And last week, I went to Hevron, to Judaism's second holiest site -- the Cave of the Patriarchs, where Avraham, Sara, Ya'akov, Rivka, Yitzchak, and Leah are buried... and, as our tradition tells us, so are Adam and Chava (Eve). (Plus the head of Esav, which is just weird to me.)

On the way to Hevron (Hebron), we passed through Kiryat Arba. I'd never been to either place, so I only knew what I'd read in the media.

I was shocked -- really shocked -- to see that Kiryat Arba is an actual city, with actual buildings, with real people, schools, playgrounds, flowers, etc. In my head, it was a few mobile homes and rifle-toting "settlers" who lived there.

And I was awed by the people who live in Hevron. They are literally surrounded by people who hate them. Surrounded. But it's so important to them to protect our sacred space, that they make their lives there. And yeah, for the most part, they have relatively "normal" lives.

I still find myself in awe at how I got here... geographically, spiritually, politically... How I find myself to be a religious Jew, living in Israel, and rather unbelievably right-wing compared to the way I grew up. But here is where I am, and I'm finally who I'm supposed to be, and deep down, I still have left-wing wishful thinking. But as a realist, I think about the situation here somewhat like my lefty family used to talk about communism -- in theory, it's good, but in practice, it can't work.

So in theory, yeah, it would be nice if everyone could play nicely together, or at least have quiet time outs when they couldn't play nicely.

But in reality, there's this beyond belief craziness that's projected sorta like "what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine" when it comes to Israel. As in, we should be nice, play nice, be all warm and fuzzy to our Arab cousins within our politically-recognized borders, even though many of them openly call for our destruction. And we should give them control over our G-d given land that's outside of our politically-recognized borders, because even though we won the war, it's not nice to be the loser of a war, so we should feel sorry for them and let them have the land. And not only that, but we should actually all leave our G-d given, won-in-wars land, because they don't want us as neighbors. And not only that, but we should let them ALSO "come back" to live within our politically-recognized borders, because before they lost other wars, they used to live here... or their grandparents did, anyway.

I just can't grasp the concept that people really think like that. I just can't.

So even though my wishful-thinking-self deep down *wants* to believe that some sort of two-state solution could work, my *real* self *knows* it's not possible and wants to protect this land as much as possible.

I wish I could make myself do more... be more politically active... but just living here seems to take so much time and energy, that I haven't been able to summon enough to also be more politically active.

I guess the least I can do is rant here on my blog. ;)