I'm Up to Good
Weird title, yah? But it mostly fits... you'll understand in a minute.
See, the question we get asked most from folks we don't see or speak to very often is, "So, nu, what are you up to?"
And I remember when I was a kid, and some people still use the phrase, my grandma would say something about being "up to no good."
Since it's been a while since I actually mentioned anything here about what's going on in my own life, I figured I'd better update ya'll on what I'm up to... and the fact of it is, thank G-d, I'm up to good.
Four weeks ago today was my last day at IDT. It had been completely unexpected until just a few days beforehand. We knew the company was struggling, but we had no idea what kinds of cutbacks they were planning to make.
They slashed something like 150 positions... maybe more at this point, I'm not sure... and when a company is something like 750-800 people, that's obviously a huge percentage of the workforce.
Seeing as how I was planning on starting to look for something else anyway, and if I got "fired," I could get my full severance package, I volunteered to be one of the ones cut.
And while it's a bit scary being without income, I do not regret my decision.
See, for just a couple of weeks before that, I had been praying (okay, so like, I pray all the time, but this is something specific...) that I would have an opportunity to spend more time learning from Jewish sources. I wanted to attend classes, instead of just trying to catch one once in a while. I wanted to have time to read the books that had been sitting on my shelves asking to be read.
And I asked G-d that if it would be His/Her will that I should do that, G-d would make it possible.
Of course, I had no idea that meant I would lose my job... but hey, if Hashem's gonna make it so clear and obvious to me that I should take time to learn, who am I to argue?
It just happens (of course, nothing "just happens," as everything happens for a reason...) that I had just finally started attending a couple of night classes at a co-ed yeshiva that I love. So when my schedule suddenly opened up, I spoke to the rabbi who runs the yeshiva and asked what kind of arrangements I could make in terms of tuition reduction.
He said they usually ask for a certain amount for classes, but if someone cannot afford to pay that, the person should pay whatever he or she can... and if he or she cannot pay anything, that is absolutely no reason not to attend classes. He made it very clear, abundantly clear, that a lack of tuition was no reason or excuse not to come learn if someone wanted to come learn.
So that's what I've been doing. I've been taking classes about different kinds of Jewish philosophy, as well as Jewish law and learning how to read and analyze the written Torah.
Plus, I've been blessed with the opportunity to go to the Kotel, the Western Wall, as often as I'd like. That, in itself, is an amazing experience. I don't always feel a huge spiritual pull there, but the opportunity to be in the holiest spot on the planet is incredible. It's beautiful (if sometimes also annoying) to see the people coming there from all over the world.
And it gets even better... as a "religious" (blah, I hate that term) Jew, I try to pray at least twice a day, plus a set of short prayers before I go to bed. Usually, that means trying to squeeze in around 30-35 minutes of speed davening (praying) before work for the morning prayers, and taking a 10-minute break at some point during work for the afternoon prayers. It usually means skipping the non-vital parts and only hitting the highlights.
For the past few weeks, I have been able to take as much time as I want (or, as my ADD mind will allow) to daven and actually pay attention. The order of the prayers was put together by brilliant Jewish scholars, and there's a whole system to it. When one only hits the highlights, he or she doesn't get to experience the whole journey. I've been blessed with the opportunity to take the whole journey many times over the course of the last few weeks.
AND, though I haven't been showing much evidence of it here, I've been taking a lot of time to write. Many times, I've wanted to write, but I just didn't have the energy after a full day of work, etc. Now I've been writing pretty much every day. Mostly journal-like stuff, but also a bit of other stuff that might turn into something one day, G-d willing.
So what am I up to? I'm up to good.
But now it's time to really start looking for a job again. There are bills that need to be paid, and as much as I love what I'm doing now, it doesn't cover the rent checks. And it doesn't cover the cost of a plane ticket to America, where I am apparently going in September for my sibling's wedding. And it doesn't cover the cost of the crown I have to have put on my tooth. So I gotta get a job.
Meanwhile, I gotta get my act together and go apply for unemployment. I haven't done it yet, because I'm afraid of the bureacracy... but it has to be done. So that's on the agenda in addition to the actual job hunting.
Anyway, that's my entry for now. It's not deep. It's not insightful. It's not me ranting about the situation in Israel. It's just me... :)
See, the question we get asked most from folks we don't see or speak to very often is, "So, nu, what are you up to?"
And I remember when I was a kid, and some people still use the phrase, my grandma would say something about being "up to no good."
Since it's been a while since I actually mentioned anything here about what's going on in my own life, I figured I'd better update ya'll on what I'm up to... and the fact of it is, thank G-d, I'm up to good.
Four weeks ago today was my last day at IDT. It had been completely unexpected until just a few days beforehand. We knew the company was struggling, but we had no idea what kinds of cutbacks they were planning to make.
They slashed something like 150 positions... maybe more at this point, I'm not sure... and when a company is something like 750-800 people, that's obviously a huge percentage of the workforce.
Seeing as how I was planning on starting to look for something else anyway, and if I got "fired," I could get my full severance package, I volunteered to be one of the ones cut.
And while it's a bit scary being without income, I do not regret my decision.
See, for just a couple of weeks before that, I had been praying (okay, so like, I pray all the time, but this is something specific...) that I would have an opportunity to spend more time learning from Jewish sources. I wanted to attend classes, instead of just trying to catch one once in a while. I wanted to have time to read the books that had been sitting on my shelves asking to be read.
And I asked G-d that if it would be His/Her will that I should do that, G-d would make it possible.
Of course, I had no idea that meant I would lose my job... but hey, if Hashem's gonna make it so clear and obvious to me that I should take time to learn, who am I to argue?
It just happens (of course, nothing "just happens," as everything happens for a reason...) that I had just finally started attending a couple of night classes at a co-ed yeshiva that I love. So when my schedule suddenly opened up, I spoke to the rabbi who runs the yeshiva and asked what kind of arrangements I could make in terms of tuition reduction.
He said they usually ask for a certain amount for classes, but if someone cannot afford to pay that, the person should pay whatever he or she can... and if he or she cannot pay anything, that is absolutely no reason not to attend classes. He made it very clear, abundantly clear, that a lack of tuition was no reason or excuse not to come learn if someone wanted to come learn.
So that's what I've been doing. I've been taking classes about different kinds of Jewish philosophy, as well as Jewish law and learning how to read and analyze the written Torah.
Plus, I've been blessed with the opportunity to go to the Kotel, the Western Wall, as often as I'd like. That, in itself, is an amazing experience. I don't always feel a huge spiritual pull there, but the opportunity to be in the holiest spot on the planet is incredible. It's beautiful (if sometimes also annoying) to see the people coming there from all over the world.
And it gets even better... as a "religious" (blah, I hate that term) Jew, I try to pray at least twice a day, plus a set of short prayers before I go to bed. Usually, that means trying to squeeze in around 30-35 minutes of speed davening (praying) before work for the morning prayers, and taking a 10-minute break at some point during work for the afternoon prayers. It usually means skipping the non-vital parts and only hitting the highlights.
For the past few weeks, I have been able to take as much time as I want (or, as my ADD mind will allow) to daven and actually pay attention. The order of the prayers was put together by brilliant Jewish scholars, and there's a whole system to it. When one only hits the highlights, he or she doesn't get to experience the whole journey. I've been blessed with the opportunity to take the whole journey many times over the course of the last few weeks.
AND, though I haven't been showing much evidence of it here, I've been taking a lot of time to write. Many times, I've wanted to write, but I just didn't have the energy after a full day of work, etc. Now I've been writing pretty much every day. Mostly journal-like stuff, but also a bit of other stuff that might turn into something one day, G-d willing.
So what am I up to? I'm up to good.
But now it's time to really start looking for a job again. There are bills that need to be paid, and as much as I love what I'm doing now, it doesn't cover the rent checks. And it doesn't cover the cost of a plane ticket to America, where I am apparently going in September for my sibling's wedding. And it doesn't cover the cost of the crown I have to have put on my tooth. So I gotta get a job.
Meanwhile, I gotta get my act together and go apply for unemployment. I haven't done it yet, because I'm afraid of the bureacracy... but it has to be done. So that's on the agenda in addition to the actual job hunting.
Anyway, that's my entry for now. It's not deep. It's not insightful. It's not me ranting about the situation in Israel. It's just me... :)
posted by M at 08:48
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